Humour Quotes

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• Stephen Hawking
• Alexander The Great
• Bob Marley
• Chanakya
• Benjamin Franklin
• Pope Benedict XVI
• Ronald Reagan
• Steve Jobs
• Napoleon Bonaparte
• Paulo Coelho

• Always recycle wasted time.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• It is not my fault that my parents own the world’s largest collection of black Santas.

  John Green

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• It is a building designed by committee: all they have been able to agree on is that it should be rectangular, have windows, and not fall over.

  Max Barry

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• It’s good to let your mind wonder, as long as you know where it’s going.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• Some battles don’t have a winner. Sometimes the best a good general can hope for is a ceasefire.

  Emma Chase

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• Great songs don’t grow on trees, yet lots of songs have been written on great trees.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• If world peace was as important to people as getting tweeted back by their favourite celebrity, we’d live in a blissful Utopia.

  Adam Levine

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• Stone me, what a life!

  Tony Hancock

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• God heard the embattled nations sing and shout.

  Sir John Squire

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• Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I’m going to kill the guy.

  Bob Hope

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• Cuba may be the only place in the world where you can be yourself and more than yourself at the same time.

  Pedro Juan Gutiérrez

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• A funny yet interesting read, Will Self knows his stuff and must do a lot of deep research.

  Will Self

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• With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

  Spike Milligan

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• Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!

  Neil Leckman

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• When you’re conscious of what you’re permitting to germinate inside you, the weeds in your life will wither away of their own accord.

  Lawrence Shorter

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• In fact the bare adjective “bad” hardly scratches the surface of the man’s awesome incapacity.

  John Biggins

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• We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

  Jeff Marder

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• Writing is like a lump of coal. Put it under enough pressure and polish it enough and you might just end up with a diamond. Otherwise, you can burn it to keep warm.

  A.J. Dalton

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• A married man is just a single man who couldn’t say no.

  Colin Tegerdine

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• A brain the size of a pea, cannot achieve what a brain the size of a melon can!!

  Linda Gaine

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