Humour Quotes

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• Napoleon Bonaparte
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• Bill Cosby
• Martin Luther King Jr
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• Scientists never study the important things. Like why some animals seem to have evolved the ability to gloat.

  Joe Hill

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• Its bad enough talking to yourself but worse when you realize you aren’t listening.

  Tabitca Cope

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• A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, Help.

  Robyn Carr

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• He’d never been shy, but he’d always been a little uncertain around girls. He just couldn’t believe they liked him.

  Robyn Carr

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• Conclusion: better to be a thinking monk than a postmodern thinker.

  Muriel Barbery

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• look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.

  Augusten Burroughs

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• Here are some quotes from my book and there are plenty more…

  D.C. Gallin

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• A cynic is just a pessimist trying to be optimistic.

  John Walter Scott

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• Stop worrying about life, no one survived it.

  AJ Shazad

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• If you ask 10 nomes to push four will pull and two will say pardon.

  Terry Pratchett

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• They took off running like a couple of spastic marathoners.

  John Green

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• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

  George Carlin

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• The leader had a beard and was wearing a caftan that looked as if it had been sewn by elves on hash.

  Margaret Atwood

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• It is well known that any drive to reduce paperwork only results in extra paperwork.

  Terry Pratchett

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• It’s gonna be the scene of a homicide if you don’t put bitchy on the back burner.

  Rachel Vincent

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• Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.

  Unknown

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• Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.

  Katie McGarry

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• It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

  John Green

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• I don’t know if you’ve ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it’s not a pleasant experience, as I’m sure you can imagine.

  Elizabeth Newton

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• I can’t be a mummy, I’m a daddy!

  Curly Howard

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