Humour Quotes

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• Victor Hugo
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• I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

  Oscar Wilde

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• I like bread, and I like butter – but I like bread with butter best.

  Sarah Weiner

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• Murder is only killing in the wrong place.

  Pat Barker

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• We Hoosiers are excessively optimistic about summer.

  John Green

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• Write – because you will explode if you don’t, your brain will expand with words like a balloon filling with air….

  Sarah Colliver

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• If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• Anyway, I must be far from insufferable, since you’ve done an excellent job of suffering me these last months.

  Robert Jordan

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• Think before you speak, unless it’s urgent.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• More of your conversation would infect my brain.

  William Shakespeare

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• I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.

  Jennifer Echols

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• It’s rude to discuss your wife with your girlfriend.

  Robyn Carr

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• If natural selection can create creationists it can manage a caterpillar with a face on its arse.

  Zane Stumpo

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• Don’t think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it.

  Sarah van Waterschoot

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• Rebellion is all we’ll be talking about. Love is revolution, a kind of coup d’état and cultural reprogramming in its own little way.

  The Harvard Lampoon

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• Law that stated you didn’t advertise any event you hadn’t attended, any place you’d never been, or any band you didn’t really listen to.

  Mhairi McFarlane

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• If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!

  Mark Twain

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• There’s always time for arguing when you’re a Fuentes.

  Simone Elkeles

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• The pen is truly mightier than the sword. Unless you’re holding a pen and the other guy’s holding a sword.

  Dave Besseling

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• We couldn’t bring the sheep back to life, so there was nothing for it but to eat the evidence.

  Karen Maitland

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• I made a deal with sharks. I don’t swim near them and they don’t play cricket.

  J.E. Fison

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