Humour Quotes

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• Alexander The Great
• Anne Frank
• Dr. Seuss
• George W. Bush
• Dalai Lama
• Marilyn Monroe
• Charles Darwin
• Mark Twain
• Stephen King
• John F. Kennedy

• Without desire, one is a walking cadaver.

  Karldon Okruta

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• My head is too large, although I prefer to think it is large enough for my mind.

  George R.R. Martin

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• If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious.

  Walter Moers

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• I was not dressed crazily – I was dressed as a horse. And for a very logical and sane reason.

  Diane Messidoro

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• A day without someone to hold you or a day without someone to share, is a day easily forgotten.

  D.M. Lee

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• If you want the extra-ordinary, you’ve got to be willing to forsake the ordinary.

  D.M. Lee

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• Through the door came a being of intense vivacity, impeccable sartorial integrity, and intermittent intelligibility.

  Terry Bisson

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• He raised his sunglasses and saw a young woman in an impossibly brief dress with an improbably welcoming smile.

  Terry Bisson

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• Write like no one’s going to read it !

  Tom Evans

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• They are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters.

  Jane Austen

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• In some company it’s perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick.

  George Carlin

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• Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

  Caitlin Moran

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• Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.

  Quinn Loftis

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• Interest? What’s money interested in? More money.

  Terry Pratchett

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• I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.

  Michka Assayas

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• There you go, lads, definitive proof that it isn’t who you know that matters, but who you know they’ve been shagging.

  Anthony Riches

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• You have to make choices even when there is nothing to choose from.

  Péter Zilahy

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• All we know of the Missing Link is that he is missing – and he won’t be missed either.

  G. K. Chesterton

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• Cops do this every day, rifling closets and digging through your dildo drawer.

  David Wong

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• Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes.

  Benny Bellamacina

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