Humour Quotes

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• George W. Bush
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• Leo Tolstoy

• After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.

  J. M. Barrie

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time, Humour

• And what lesson can we draw from volantene history?
  If you want to conquer the world, you best have dragons.

  George R.R. Martin

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

  Bertrand Russell

  Topics in Funny, Politics

  Tags in Humour

• Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

  Robert Orben

  Topics in Politics, Truth

  Tags in United, Problem, Humour

• What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.

  Topics in Wisdom, Yiddish Proverbs

  Tags in Body, Humour

• If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour
• 

  A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.

  Robert Jordan

  Topics in Trust

  Tags in Man, Humour, Fools

• Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor.

  James Thurber

  Topics in Religion, Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• It turns out that understanding the British public is not rocket science. The British appreciate honesty and they also have a bonkers, off-the-wall sense of humour like me.

  Nicole Scherzinger

  Topics in Honesty

  Tags in Humour, Appreciate

• Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

  Terry Pratchett

  Topics in Genius

  Tags in Always, Blood, Humour

• If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

  Jess C. Scott

  Topics in God

  Tags in Humour

• Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.

  Terry Pratchett

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch.

  Keisha Keenleyside

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love chocolate, and communists.

  Leslie Moak Murray

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Jumping to conclusions is like playing with damp gunpowder: both likely to go off in wrong direction.

  Charlie Chang

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.

  Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.

  Dylan Moran

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it.

  Nick Hornby

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Who or what inspires you?

  I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.

  Eoin Colfer

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

  Samuel Johnson

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour