Humour Quotes

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• Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I’m going to ask you to sit still, or I’ll put you in the trunk.

  Anna White

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Oh my God. Party punch. He’d brought a woman with the social age of twelve to the Citadel. He deserved everything he got.

  Annabel Joseph

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  Tags in Humour

• I’d like to think…that people in pubs would talk about my poems.

  Philip Larkin

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• You know what the best thing is about the end of the day? Tomorrow, it starts all over again.

  Douglas Coupland

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• She was heavier than he expected – women always are.

  Sylvia Townsend Warner

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• I could eat a knob at night.

  Karl Pilkington

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• Momentarily forgetting how wind works, Lex tried spitting at him. This failed

  Gina Damico

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• Is this one of those days where we all stalk out in fury? Because I simply haven’t got the energy for it.

  Cassandra Clare

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• The world is not full of crazy ninja perfume ladies!

  Elisa Paige

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• The past is truly an inoperable tumor that spreads to the present.

  Steve Toltz

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• One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.

  P. J. O'Rourke

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  Tags in Humour

• None of us like to think we are silly. But all must acknowledge that they are capable of silliness, from time to time.

  Jude Morgan

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  Tags in Time, Humour

• Your king is supposed to explode? What kind of government system is that?

  Jefferson Smith

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• Pretty girls behave better when you ignore them.

  Chetan Bhagat

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• If he speaks again without me knowing who he is, I will throw him out of the window. And I won’t open it first.

  Dan Abnett

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• Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.

  E. B. White

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• What’s the rule for fighting? Hit the soft parts with your hand and the hard parts with a utensil?

  Kaje Harper

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• He said something that made it impossible to continue working for him. You’re fired.

  Christopher Hitchens

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• Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people.

  Benny Bellamacina

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Humour, Philosophy

• It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

  Terry Pratchett

  Topics in Life

  Tags in Humour