Humour Quotes

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• Leo Tolstoy
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• God does not play dice, bankers do.

  Greg Curtis

  Topics in God

  Tags in Humour

• When everyone is out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking.

  Dr. Johnny Fever

  Topics in Uncategorized

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• If wishes were horses, I’d need a very big stable.

  Greg Curtis

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• If I had free will, I would choose to be funnier.

  Stephen Cave

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour, Philosophy

• The Brigadier had no wish to shake hands with the improbable young man in the ridiculous frock-coat.

  Peter Grimwade

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• I don’t believe in ghosts but they blindly believe in me.

  Amit Abraham

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• The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralization of the overly curious mind through faith.

  Jose Saramago

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• A halo is a cock ring for the soul.

  Corey DuFour

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• Intellectual controversies tend to be like dog fights without the teeth, in which the barking not the biting does the damage.

  Luis Fernando Verissimo

  Topics in Uncategorized

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• While an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance, and when he is dead we rate them by his best.

  Samuel Johnson

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• I am on the divorce detox diet. I only eat younger men.

  Erla-Mari Diedericks

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• Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• She was every inch the skeletal goddess that had been promised by the bones of her feet.

  Jefferson Smith

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• If the colour of life turns grey turn the palette the other way.

  Benny Bellamacina

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• I thought the fart was a human thing. It’s something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

  Karl Pilkington

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  Tags in Humour

• I know stealing a foot is weird. But, hello, living in a house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird.

  Lauren Ambrose

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• The nuisance of her presence outweighs the gratification to be derived from tormenting her.

  Emily Bronte

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• Either a species learns to control its own population, or something like disease, famine, war, will take care of the issue.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Topics in Uncategorized

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• Unfortunately it’s also true to say that good management is a bit like oxygen – it’s invisible and you don’t notice its presence until it’s gone, and then you’re sorry.

  Charles Stross

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• Aren’t maids the ultimate art critics?

  John Waters

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour