Humour Quotes

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• Princess Diana
• George Carlin
• E. E. Cummings
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• Albert Einstein
• Swami Vivekananda
• Indira Gandhi
• Dr. Seuss
• Charles Darwin
• Agatha Christie

• The great are eternally at the mercy of tiny men. And also, tiny madwomen.

  Salman Rushdie

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• Removing his helmet, Edward knelt by the stream called Swill gate, a name that effectively quenched any desire to drink from its depths.

  Sharon Kay Penman

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• Question everything, unless it’s the answer

  Benny Bellamacina

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• Armour… is part of a state of mind… in which you admit the possibility… of being hit.

  Joe Abercrombie

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• Oh, I hate the cheap severity of abstract ethics!

  Oscar Wilde

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• The grass on the other side of the hill may well be greener, but you should always check that there isn’t something with teeth and claws crouching in it.

  Chris Naylor

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• Being single isn’t a terminal disease.Try telling that to my mother.

  Alexandra Potter

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• Somebody should have taken him to a stationary store and pointed out the difference between an envelope and a whore.

  Richard Brautigan

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• Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.

  Huntley Fitzpatrick

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• You can only fight one man at a time with a sword, but, with a pen, you can compose a lecture to bore legions of enemy troops to death.

  Lindsay Buroker

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• You can’t always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less.

  Benny Bellamacina

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• He was under the mistaken impression that I didn’t have enough tact. The truth was, I had no tact.

  Caroline Hanson

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• It’s only human nature for dogs to chase motorbikes.

  Peter Tinniswood

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• Public schoolboys are not merely conservatives, they are by nature totalitarian reactionaries.

  David Benedictus

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• Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

  Karl Pilkington

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• American slaps are hard. Never get slapped by an american.

  Tahlia C

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• The majority of the time a person can’t be organised and creative, it’s one or the other. However, if you happen to be both, then you’re bloody amazing.

  Jacinta Lorenzo

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• How do you explain plastic to a medieval forest bard?

  Jefferson Smith

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• I think I know where my life went wrong. For all the world’s a stage and I’m a lousy actor!

  Greg Curtis

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• No more creepy online alter egos in the name of love.

  Elizabeth Rudnick

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