Comedian Quotes

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• My only goal as a comedian was to stomp the life out of the model-minority myth.

  Eddie Huang

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian, Myth

• I’m an actor, I’m not a comedian, I never was a comedian.

  Jonah Hill

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian

• I tell people I’m a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I’m somebody’s husband, I’m somebody’s father. I’m a man. I take great pride in that.

  Steve Harvey

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Somebody, Comedian

• What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics.

  Buddy Hackett

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian, Gleason
• 

  Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

  Bill Hicks

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Intuition, Television, Comedian, Imagination

• The one thing an audience always has in common with a comedian is troubles. The Yiddish word for that is tsuris. You’re always putting your tsuris on stage whether you like it or not. No one is untroubled, unless they’re just, you know, an imbecile.

  David Steinberg

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Troubles, Comedian

• I used to have a theory actually that, if you’ve had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you’re going to make a lousy comedian.

  David Steinberg

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian, Bank

• You don’t need to be stable to be a stand-up comedian.

  David Steinberg

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Stable, Comedian

• When I started, you didn’t make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn’t get a lot of respect.

  David Steinberg

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian, Started
• 

  As I grow older, I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me.

  H. Rider Haggard

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Comedian, Habit
• 

  The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

  Nikolai Gogol

  Topics in Funny, Humor

  Tags in Sadness, Comedian

• I wanted to be a comedian.

  Kelly Slater

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian

• I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

  Sarah Silverman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Comedian, Comedy

• When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn’t realize he meant our nation.

  Al Franken

  Topics in Funny, Politics

  Tags in Comedian

• If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

  Bob Hope

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Comedian, Charity, Giving

• It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy.

  Lucille Ball

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Comedian, Happiness

• In a completely sane world, madness is the only freedom!

  J. G. Ballard

  Topics in Funny, Humor

  Tags in Comedian, Sane, Freedom, Insanity, Madness

• The only one that got through was Jimmy Walker, because he plays the gas station attendant. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just that we were kind of purists at the time, and we didn’t want any comedians.

  David S. Zucker

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time, Comedian

• Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

  Bill Watterson

  Topics in Funny, Humor

  Tags in Comedian, Faster, Calvin, Hobbes

• The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly.

  Imogene Fernandez de Coca

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Trouble, Comedian