Wilson Mizner Quotes

• A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Working for Warner Brothers was like fucking a porcupine-it’s a hundred pricks against one.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

• You sparkle with larceny.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Sparkle, Larceny

• To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Embarrassment, Bed

• Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Death

  Tags in Ears, Welcome

• There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Restless, Closet

• The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Power

  Tags in Efficient, Tears

• The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Halfway, Cuckoo

• The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Friends, Away

• Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Corner, Overcoat

• Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Half-Baked

• Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Hardest, Tough

• In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Tact, Existence

• If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Profit

• I’ve spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

  Wilson Mizner

  Tags in Hollywood, Spent

• I’ve had ample contact with lawyers, and I’m convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Contact, Fortune

• I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Square, Rather

• I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Doubt, Faith

• I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Sentence

• I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Exhausts, Careless

Wilson Mizner (33)

Birth:	19th May, 1876
Death:	3rd April, 1933
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Entrepreneur, Writer, Playwriter

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Today's Anniversary - 7th January

Births

• 1948 - Kenny Loggins
• 1958 - Donna Rice
• 1873 - Adolph Zukor
• 1919 - Robert Duncan
• 1891 - Zora Neale Hurston

Deaths

• 1988 - Trevor Howard
• 1943 - Nikola Tesla
• 1944 - Lou Henry Hoover
• 1981 - William Feather
• 1984 - Alfred Kastler