Wilson Mizner Quotes

• A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Listener, Knows

• A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Working for Warner Brothers was like fucking a porcupine-it’s a hundred pricks against one.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized
• 

  The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Power

  Tags in Efficient, Tears

• Art is science made clear.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Art

  Tags in School, Made, Clear

• Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Yourself, Talk

• Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Death

  Tags in Ears, Welcome

• I’ve had ample contact with lawyers, and I’m convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Contact, Fortune

• A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Declaring, Fool

• I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Square, Rather

• To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Advice

  Tags in Profit

• If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Profit

• I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Sentence

• I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Doubt, Faith

• Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Hardest, Tough

• I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in I Can, Laughs

• A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Critic, Drama

• Failure has gone to his head.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Failure

  Tags in Gone, Head

• The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Friends, Away

• Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

  Wilson Mizner

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Gambling, Getting

Wilson Mizner (33)

Birth:	19th May, 1876
Death:	3rd April, 1933
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Entrepreneur, Writer, Playwriter

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Today's Anniversary - 5th January

Births

• 1834 - William John Wills
• 1909 - Stephen Cole Kleene
• 1928 - Walter F. Mondale
• 1931 - Alvin Ailey
• 1945 - Roger Spottiswoode

Deaths

• 2010 - Kenneth Noland
• 2003 - Roy Jenkins
• 1998 - Sonny Bono
• 1867 - Alexander Smith
• 1994 - Thomas P. O'Neill