Scott Adams Quotes

• When you hire that first person, then you’re a boss. You’ve got performance reviews. You’ve got complaints about not making enough money. You’ve got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Boss

• You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Argue

• I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer’s cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

• There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Idiot, Resourceful, Dangerous

• Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Offend, Remove, Problems, Company

• Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Funny, Work

  Tags in Office, Credibility, Consultants, Company

• I’m slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can’t motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Motivational

  Tags in Managers, Principles

• Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Illusion, Free Will, People, Pleasure, Will, Choose

• And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Technology

  Tags in Internet

• There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Problems, Solution

• One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Compensate, Pretend, Brain

• The best things in life are silly.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Life

  Tags in Silly

• The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Universe

• Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Profit

• Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Engineering, Problems

• If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Trouble

• You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Influence, Life

  Tags in People

• Normal people… believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Engineering, People

• The longer you work here, diverse it gets.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Work

  Tags in Gets

• Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

  Scott Adams

  Topics in Religion

  Tags in Willingness, Irrational, Humans, Better

Scott Adams (74)

Birth:	8th June, 1957
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Author, Cartoonist, Writer

Related Authors

• Koushun Takami
• Anthon St. Maarten
• Mitch Albom
• Stephen Cave
• Paul Gruchow
• Charlton Ogburn
• Andrew Sullivan
• Amit Abraham
• Sheri L. Dew
• Susan Vaught

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 3rd January

Births

• 1926 - Sir George Henry Martin
• 1943 - Richard Ben Veniste
• 1945 - Stephen Stills
• 1966 - Roderick Rotol
• 1901 - Ngo Dinh Diem

Deaths

• 1946 - William Joyce
• 1965 - Milton Avery
• 1967 - Mary Garden
• 2012 - Josef Skvorecky
• 2005 - Will Eisner