S.J. Perelman Quotes

• I have Bright’s disease and he has mine, sobbed the panting palooka.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Disease

• A feeling of emulsion swept over me.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Feeling

• English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Life

• Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin .. it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Love

• The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Fact

• Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Learning, Living

• I’d horsewhip you if I had a horse.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Horse

• Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Fates

• He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it.

  S.J. Perelman

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  Tags in Manner, Immediately

• I’ll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they’ve gone, I’ll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in God

  Tags in Living

• The dogs had eaten the upholstery of a Packard convertible that afternoon, and were consequently somewhat subdued.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

• You’ve got a sharp tongue in your head, Mr Essick. Look out it doesn’t cut your throat.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

• For years I have let dentists ride roughshod over my teeth; I have been sawed, hacked, chopped, whittled, bewitched, bewildered, tattooed, and signed on again; but this is cuspid’s last stand.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

• She had the rippling muscles of a panther, the solidity of a water buffalo, and the lazy insolence of a shoe salesman.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

• I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atomsmashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

• If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I’ve written, I feel the day hasn’t been totally wasted.

  S.J. Perelman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writing

S.J. Perelman (16)

Birth:	1st February, 1904
Death:	17th October, 1979
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Author, Humorist, Screenwriter

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