Roseanne Barr Quotes

• Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women

• Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women, Complain

• To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won’t hit you because you are a vegetarian.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Life

• Excuse the mess but we live here.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Life

  Tags in Live, Excuse

• Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you’re feeling festive?

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Children

  Tags in Feeling

• A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite, the male ego.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Ego

• Birth control that really works – every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Control, Night

• As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I’ve done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Job

  Tags in Husband

• I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people… that’s why I don’t like any of them.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Judge, Pretty

• I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That’s what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Past

  Tags in Hate

• I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Children, Job

• I know how to do anything, I’m a mom.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Anything, Mom

• It’s okay to be fat. So you’re fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Shut Up, Okay

• I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I’ve done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Job

• My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Hope, War

• I was completely nuts for most of my life.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Nuts, Completely

• My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Suicide, Sign

• There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Mother

  Tags in Woman

• Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up, and the more we’ll have to be reckoned.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women, Believe

• The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.

  Roseanne Barr

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Heart

Roseanne Barr (24)

Birth:	3rd November, 1952
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actress, Comedian, Director, Producer, Writer

About

Roseanne Cherrie Barr is an American actress, comedienne, writer, television producer, director and 2012 presidential nominee of the California-based Peace and Freedom Party. Barr began her career in stand-up comedy at clubs before gaining fame for her role in the sitcom Roseanne.

Related Authors

• Shelley Hennig
• Jessica Tandy
• Rose Byrne
• Rita Ora
• Jena Malone
• Geraldine Chaplin
• Michelle Williams
• Jackee Harry
• Trishelle Cannatella
• Marie Osmond

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 29th March

Births

• 1874 - Lou Henry Hoover
• 1918 - Sam Walton
• 1831 - Amelia Edith Huddleston Barr
• 1931 - Norman Tebbit
• 1971 - Lara Logan

Deaths

• 1982 - Nathan F Twining
• 2005 - Mitch Hedberg
• 1934 - Otto Hermann Kahn
• 1912 - Robert Falcon Scott
• 1878 - Mark Hopkins Jr.