P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

• There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Human Rights

• There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Men And Women

• There are a number of mechanical devices which increase s*xual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women, Increase

• The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Work

  Tags in People, Know

• The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Behavior

• The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Government

• The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Work

  Tags in Government

• The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Religion

  Tags in Administration

• Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Stupidity

• Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Politics

• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Never, Wife

• Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Funny, Religion

  Tags in Christian

• If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you’ve read his autobiography.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Drug, Autobiography

• Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Failure, Politics

  Tags in Joyful, Journalism

• I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a “learning experience.” Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a “learning experience.” It makes me feel less stupid.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Experience

  Tags in Behavior

• Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Children

  Tags in Human, Animal

• Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Government

• Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Gossip

• Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Family, Love

• Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Topics in Children, Death

P. J. O'Rourke (107)

Birth:	14th November, 1947
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Journalist, Politician, Satirist, Writer

About

P. J. O'Rourke is an American political satirist, journalist, writer, and author. O'Rourke is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute and is a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, and frequent panelist on National Public Radio's game show Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!. In the United Kingdom, he is known as the face of a long-running series of television advertisements for British Airways in the 1990s.

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