P. G. Wodehouse Quotes

• There’ll always be an England, but who wants an England full of morons reading the Express?

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Has anyone ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Ice formed on the butler’s upper slopes.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• My war history has been a simple one. I have just sat in my chair and written all the time.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Roderick Spode? Big chap with a small moustache and the sort of eye that can open an oyster at sixty paces?

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Slice him where you like, a hell hound is always a hell hound.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• I can’t do with any more education. I was full up years ago.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Into the face of the young man…had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• I have at last come to a momentous decision. I am going to give up my press-clippings agency. I find that even a favourable notice makes me feel sick nowadays, while an unfavourable one, even from a small provincial newspaper, puts me off my work for days.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• The Right Hon was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say ‘When!’

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• To my daughter Leonora without whose never-failing sympathy and encouragement this book would have been finished in half the time.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove the cyanide in the consomme, and the dinner-gong due any moment.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• Honoria…is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge.

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• ‘Alf Todd,’ said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, ‘has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat’s left ear with a red-hot needle.’

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• It’s one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor – and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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• As a rule, you see, I’m not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling to Aunt like mastodons bellowing across the primeval swamps…the clan has a tendency to ignore me.

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• Jeeves coughed one soft, low, gentle cough like a sheep with a blade of grass stuck in its throat.

  P. G. Wodehouse

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P. G. Wodehouse (60)

Birth:	15th October, 1881
Death:	14th February, 1975
Nationality:	British
Profession:	Humorist, Lyricist, Novelist, Playwriter

About

Pelham Grenville Wodehouse was an English humorist whose body of work includes novels, short stories, plays, poems, song lyrics and numerous pieces of journalism. He enjoyed enormous popular success during a career that lasted more than seventy years, and his many writings continue to be widely read. Despite the political and social upheavals that occurred during his life, much of which was spent in France and the United States, Wodehouse's main canvas remained that of a pre- and post-World War I English upper class society, reflecting his birth, education and youthful writing career.

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