Joseph Heller Quotes

• All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in War

• There were reviews that were good, a good many that were mixed, and there were reviews that were bad, very bad, almost venomously spiteful, one might be tempted to say (and I am the one that might say it).

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• I used to joke—and it wasn’t much of an exaggeration— that a story I would mail to the New Yorker in the morning would be back with its concise, slighting rejection slip in the afternoon mail that same day.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• And a man who lay with a beast, said the Lord, would surely die. And if he doesn’t lie with a beast, I would have countered, he won’t die?

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• ‘Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of a name is Yossarian?’ Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. ‘It’s Yossarian’s name, sir,’ he explained.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Decisions

  Tags in Choice, Military

• The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Giving

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

• There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.

  Joseph Heller

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war – for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.

  Joseph Heller

• I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Life

• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

• I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.

  Joseph Heller

• Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

  Joseph Heller

Joseph Heller (32)

Birth:	1st May, 1923
Death:	12th December, 1999
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Novelist, Playwriter, Screenwriter

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Today's Anniversary - 26th December

Births

• 1751 - Lord George Gordon
• 1963 - Lars Ulrich
• 1820 - Dion Boucicault
• 1904 - Alejo Carpentier
• 1956 - David Sedaris

Deaths

• 1930 - Kin Hubbard
• 2005 - Kerry Packer
• 1945 - Bela Bartok
• 2011 - Samuel Carthorne Rivers
• 1931 - Melvil Dewey