Joseph Heller Quotes

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in War

• There were reviews that were good, a good many that were mixed, and there were reviews that were bad, very bad, almost venomously spiteful, one might be tempted to say (and I am the one that might say it).

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• I used to joke—and it wasn’t much of an exaggeration— that a story I would mail to the New Yorker in the morning would be back with its concise, slighting rejection slip in the afternoon mail that same day.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• And a man who lay with a beast, said the Lord, would surely die. And if he doesn’t lie with a beast, I would have countered, he won’t die?

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• ‘Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of a name is Yossarian?’ Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. ‘It’s Yossarian’s name, sir,’ he explained.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

• The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Enemies, War

• I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Life
• 

  Every writer I know has trouble writing.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writing, Trouble

• Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Mediocrity

• I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Decisions

  Tags in Choice, Military

• But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Parents

• The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Giving

• I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in War

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

• There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.

  Joseph Heller

Joseph Heller (32)

Birth:	1st May, 1923
Death:	12th December, 1999
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Novelist, Playwriter, Screenwriter

Related Authors

• Raul Julia
• Keith Carradine
• George Segal
• Adam Brody
• Lee Strasberg
• Philip Kenneth Collen
• Kyle MacLachlan
• Wyclef Jean
• Charles Boyer
• Walter Matthau

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 26th March

Births

• 1949 - Vicki Lawrence
• 1859 - Alfred Edward Housman
• 1934 - Alan Arkin
• 1904 - Joseph Campbell
• 1960 - Jon Huntsman Jr.

Deaths

• 1976 - Lin Yutang
• 1959 - Raymond Chandler
• 1973 - Noël Coward
• 1923 - Sarah Bernhardt
• 2002 - Randy Castillo