Joe E. Lewis Quotes

• The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Topics in Love

  Tags in Marry, Might

• I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Week, Else

• You only live once – but if you work it right, once is enough.

  Joe E. Lewis

• You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

  Joe E. Lewis

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  Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I’m thirsty, not dirty.

   

  Joe E. Lewis

• We can afford almost any mistake once.

  Joe E. Lewis

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  They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

   

  Joe E. Lewis

• There’s only one thing money won’t buy, and that is poverty.

  Joe E. Lewis

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  Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum.

   

  Joe E. Lewis

• Show me a friend in need and I’ll show you a pest.

  Joe E. Lewis

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  It pays to get drunk with the best people.

   

  Joe E. Lewis

• It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor – as long as you’ve got money.

  Joe E. Lewis

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  If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.

   

  Joe E. Lewis

• I’ve been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

  Joe E. Lewis

• I’m still chasing girls. I don’t remember what for, but I’m still chasing them.

  Joe E. Lewis

• I would take a bomb, but I can’t stand the noise.

  Joe E. Lewis

• I drink to forget I drink.

  Joe E. Lewis

• I don’t drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

  Joe E. Lewis

• I always wake up at the crack of ice.

  Joe E. Lewis

• Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

  Joe E. Lewis

Joe E. Lewis (23)

Birth:	12th January, 1902
Death:	4th June, 1971
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian

About

Joe E. Lewis was born in New York City, New York, USA. He was an American comedian. His role in several films include: Too Many Husbands (short film), Private Number, The Holy Terror, Private Buckaroo, and Lady in Cement. He married actress Martha Stewart in 1946, they divorced in 1948. Random House published Lewis's biography The Joker Is Wild written by Art Cohn in 1955.

Related Authors

• Tom Arnold
• Jerry Lewis
• Marc Maron
• Brad Dourif
• John Mahoney
• Roy Castle
• Fannie Flagg
• Ronnie Corbett
• Jay Mohr
• Kenan Thompson

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Today's Anniversary - 22nd December

Births

• 1957 - Susan Powter
• 1861 - Sara Jeannette Duncan
• 1938 - Lucien Bouchard
• 1972 - Vanessa Paradis
• 1962 - Ralph Fiennes

Deaths

• 1987 - Sir Henry Thomas Cotton
• 1989 - Samuel Beckett
• 1899 - Dwight L. Moody
• 1906 - Robert Rainy
• 1998 - Virginia Graham