Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

• Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren’t for lies, there’d be no sex.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Uncategorized

• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Books

• Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Humor

• It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Funny, Humor

  Tags in Newspapers

• Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Funny, Humor
• 

  A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Evidence, Pieces

• My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Family, Funny

  Tags in Comedy, Parents, Law And Lawyers

• That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Christmas

  Tags in Spirit

• According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Fear

  Tags in Death And Dying, Speech

• People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Lies

• Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, s*x is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women

• You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Topics in Birthday

• Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• We were somewhat unsupervised. The audience was there and the network is not going to complain if everyone’s liking the show.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• I had 10,000 things that I like doing on the show itself, and certainly among them was telling George he had a problem, especially one he wasn’t aware of.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• Stinking from smoked salmon and covered in grass stains from playing in the park, (they) are not going away.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• But after they settle in you’ve still got to be funny, because for an hour just the fact they get to see you live in a theater is going to wear off if you’re not doing well.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• The reactions of audiences are interesting.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• The show had an intense comedic energy that you do not find on other shows. There’s an intense comedic scene happening all the time, and that’s the way we tried to make them, really packed, tight, strong ? and that just holds the audience.

  Jerry Seinfeld

• I became aware of autism through some friends who are dealing with it and it is heartbreaking. I wanted to do something to help address this problem and decided to do a show to raise funds for research. I was very impressed with the great work of Autism Speaks. I am happy to join forces with them and Bob and Suzanne Wright to help raise awareness of this prevalent issue.

  Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld (33)

Birth:	29th April, 1954
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian, Producer, Screenwriter

About

Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. He is an American comedian, screenwriter and producer. In his stand-up comedy career, he is known for specializing in observational comedy, often ranting about relationships and embarrassing social situations. He earned a BA degree in communications and theater from Queens College, City University of New York. His role in several films include: Comedian (documentary film), Bee Movie (only voice, Also co-writer and producer), Quality Balls (documentary film), and Top Five. His role in television include: The Ratings Game (TV film), Seinfeld (TV series, also co-creator, writer and executive producer, Won- American Comedy Award for Funniest Male Performer in a TV Series: 1992-1993, Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series-1993, Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series: 1994, 1996-1997, Golden Globe Award for Best Actor- Television Series Musical or Comedy-1993), The Marriage Ref (reality and panel show, also producer), and Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (talk show, also creator, host, and executive producer). He married Jessica Sklar in 1999. They have three children.

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Births

• 1971 - Vikas Khanna
• 1962 - Laura San Giacomo
• 1907 - William Steig
• 1908 - Joseph McCarthy
• 1906 - Louise Brooks

Deaths

• 2008 - Kristin Hunter
• 1819 - William Samuel Johnson
• 1915 - Booker T. Washington
• 1946 - May Sinclair
• 2001 - Percy Ross