Jay Leno Quotes

• Politics is just show business for ugly people.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Politics

• The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow ‘Operation Re-elect Bush’ doesn’t seem to be popular.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Politics

• CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she’s strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Politics

• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Politics, Religion

• New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Humor

• Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Call, Forget, Day

• The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in State, Each, Reason

• Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

  Jay Leno

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in School

• You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.

  Jay Leno

• You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

  Jay Leno

• Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they’re getting back together. You know what that means? There’s still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

  Jay Leno

• Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

• The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don’t want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they’ll just be known as the Bullets.

  Jay Leno

• The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it – they’re the ones falling down the most.

  Jay Leno

• The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

  Jay Leno

• The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

  Jay Leno

• The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they’re all lining up.

  Jay Leno

• Nineteen percent of doctors say that they’d be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

  Jay Leno

• More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy – he’s one of their own.

  Jay Leno

• Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good ‘ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

  Jay Leno

Jay Leno (30)

Birth:	28th April, 1950
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian, Television Presenter

About

James Douglas Muir "Jay" Leno was born in New Rochelle, New York, USA. He is an American comedian and television presenter. After doing standup comedy for years, he became the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992 to 2009. Beginning in September 2009, he started a primetime talk show, titled The Jay Leno Show, which aired weeknights at 10:00 p.m. ET, also on NBC. He obtained a bachelor's degree in speech therapy from Emerson College. In 2001, along with his wife, he donated $100,000 to the Feminist Majority Foundation's campaign to stop gender apartheid in Afghanistan, to educate the public regarding the plight of women in Afghanistan under Taliban rule. In 2009, he donated $100,000 to a scholarship fund at Salem State College.

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Today's Anniversary - 26th April

Births

• 1916 - Morris West
• 1798 - Eugène Delacroix
• 1820 - Alice Cary
• 1960 - Roger Andrew Taylor
• 1889 - Ludwig Wittgenstein

Deaths

• 1989 - Lucille Ball
• 1969 - Morihei Ueshiba
• 2003 - Peter Stone
• 2005 - Augusto Roa Bastos
• 2004 - Lee Loevinger