George Burns Quotes

• Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Happiness

• First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Yourself, Forgotten

• Be quick to learn and wise to know.

  George Burns

  Topics in Advice

• Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

  George Burns

  Topics in Honesty

  Tags in Acting

• Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

  George Burns

  Topics in Life, Money

• I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

  George Burns

  Topics in Funny

• With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

  George Burns

  Tags in Acting and the Theatre

• If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Cigar

• I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• At my age flowers scare me.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

  George Burns

  Topics in Failure, Success

George Burns (42)

Birth:	20th January, 1896
Death:	9th March, 1996
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Comedian, Writer

About

George Burns was born in New York City, New York, USA. He was an American comedian, actor, and writer. When Burns was 79, he had a sudden career revival as an amiable, beloved and unusually active comedy elder statesman in the 1975 film The Sunshine Boys, for which he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. His role in several films include: The Big Broadcast, International House, Six of a Kind, A Damsel in Distress, College Swing, Honolulu, The Solid Gold Cadillac, Oh, God!, Going in Style, and Oh, God! Book II. He wrote several books include: Gracie: A Love Story, 100 Years, 100 Stories, How To Live To Be 100 – Or More, Wisdom of the 90's, and Living It Up.

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Today's Anniversary - 3rd April

Births

• 1925 - Tony Benn
• 1904 - Sally Rand
• 1953 - Sandra Boynton
• 1956 - Raymond Neil Combs Jr.
• 1928 - Don Gibson

Deaths

• 1990 - Sarah Vaughan
• 1950 - Kurt Weill
• 1988 - Milton Caniff
• 1933 - Wilson Mizner
• 1974 - Marston Bates