George Burns Quotes

• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Trouble

• I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.

  George Burns

  Topics in Money

  Tags in Self

• It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self

• If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Script

• I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

  George Burns

  Topics in Success

  Tags in Self -Love

• I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Working

• Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

  George Burns

  Topics in Country

  Tags in Busy

• This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

  George Burns

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Written, Books

• You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

  George Burns

  Topics in Failure, Success

• With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

  George Burns

  Tags in Acting and the Theatre

• If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age

• By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• At my age flowers scare me.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

• I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

  George Burns

  Topics in Age, Funny

George Burns (42)

Birth:	20th January, 1896
Death:	9th March, 1996
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Comedian, Writer

About

George Burns was born in New York City, New York, USA. He was an American comedian, actor, and writer. When Burns was 79, he had a sudden career revival as an amiable, beloved and unusually active comedy elder statesman in the 1975 film The Sunshine Boys, for which he won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. His role in several films include: The Big Broadcast, International House, Six of a Kind, A Damsel in Distress, College Swing, Honolulu, The Solid Gold Cadillac, Oh, God!, Going in Style, and Oh, God! Book II. He wrote several books include: Gracie: A Love Story, 100 Years, 100 Stories, How To Live To Be 100 – Or More, Wisdom of the 90's, and Living It Up.

Related Authors

• Eddie Redmayne
• John Aniston
• Jerry Rubin
• Tom Jones
• Oliver Reed
• Aries Spears
• Scott Grimes
• Tom Wopat
• Cyril Cusack
• Jermaine Dupri

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 31st March

Births

• 1596 - René Descartes
• 1944 - Mick Ralphs
• 1938 - David Steel
• 1812 - Thomas Gold Appleton
• 1948 - Al Gore

Deaths

• 1931 - Knute Rockne
• 1998 - Tim Flock
• 1976 - Paul Strand
• 2002 - Barry Took
• 1980 - Lavinia Goodell