Garrison Keillor Quotes

• Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Republicans, Reason

• Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Religion

  Tags in Humour, Christian

• I look like a tree toad who was changed into a boy but not completely.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

• It’s a play that after you’ve been there for a short while, you wonder how long this is going to take.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

• March is the month that God designed to show those who don’t drink what a hangover is like.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Public radio is a ghetto of good taste.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Peanut butter has survived everything that has been done to improve it.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

• A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writing

• The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, ‘Daddy, I need to ask you something,’ he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Familiar

• I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers’ work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writers, Ignorance, Discouragement

• Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won’t feel so thankful then.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in God, Life

  Tags in Thank You

• Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Humor, Nature

  Tags in Cat, Function

• Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Fictional, Town

• Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Liquor, Tasteless

• They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Funerals

• The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Childhood

• The funniest line in English is “Get it?” When you say that, everyone chortles.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Funniest, Line

• Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Yourself, Reality

• Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Inspirational, Luck

  Tags in Yourself

• Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

  Garrison Keillor

  Topics in Children

Garrison Keillor (35)

Birth:	7th August, 1942
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Author, Radio Personality

About

Gary Edward "Garrison" Keillor was born in Anoka, Minnesota, USA. He is an American author and radio personality. He is known as host of the Minnesota Public Radio show A Prairie Home Companion. He has written the screenplay for the 2006 movie A Prairie Home Companion. He has written several books include: Lake Wobegon Days(novel), Pontoon(novel), Wobegon boy(novel), WLT: A Radio Romance(novel), Liberty(novel), The Keillor Reader, Leaving Home, The Book of Guys, Homegrown Democrat, Life Among the Lutherans, A Christmas Blizzard, Happy to be Here, and Good Poems for Hard Times. He earned his bachelor's degree in English from the University of Minnesota in 1966.

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