Fred Allen Quotes

• All I know about humour is that I don’t know anything about it.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Organization

• A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Fame

• You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Heart, Enough

• What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Mind, Allow

• We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Material, Comedian, Oblivion

• Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Good, Competition, Great

• Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Partners, Like

• The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time, Holding

• The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Religion

  Tags in People, Holding

• The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Thing, First

• The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in World, Advertising, Existed

• Television is the triumph of machine over people.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Television

• Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Anything

• Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They’re afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Recognize, Movie, Afraid

• Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Making, Little

• My uncle is a Southern planter. He’s an undertaker in Alabama.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Uncle

• Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Failure

  Tags in Spend, Church

• Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Objective, Estimation

• It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Private, Recognize, Supportive

Fred Allen (51)

Birth:	31st May, 1894
Death:	17th March, 1956
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian

About

John Florence Sullivan, known professionally as Fred Allen was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. He was an American comedian whose absurdist, topically-pointed radio program The Fred Allen Show made him one of the most popular and forward-looking humorists in the Golden Age of American radio. He was honored with stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for contributions to television and radio.

Related Authors

• Tom Arnold
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• John Cleese
• Arthur Smith
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• Jean Dujardin
• Terry Jones
• Michael Anthony Richards
• Joey Bishop
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Today's Anniversary - 22nd December

Births

• 1915 - Barbara Billingsley
• 1861 - Sara Jeannette Duncan
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Deaths

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• 1943 - Beatrix Potter
• 2001 - Lance Loud