Dennis Miller Quotes

• I wish Obama would be as nasty and arrogant with our enemies as he is with fellow citizens who simply disagree with him.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in I Wish, Disagree

• Your family cuts you the most slack and gives you the most chances. When the quiz-show host says, “Name something you find in a refrigerator,” and the rest of American is screaming, “You moron!” at their TV sets, who’s clapping and saying, “Good answer! Good answer!”? Your family, that’s who.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Family

• A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Humor

• You’ve got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Habits

• You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Education

• What’s so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It’s like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Business

  Tags in People

• What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Article

• Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Lying

• The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in States

• The radical right is so homophobic that they’re blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Global

• The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Way

• The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Country, Death, Life

• The average American’s day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles’s dart board.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Average

• President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in President, Presidential

• Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Police

• Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation’s highways.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Job

  Tags in Nation

• One man’s Voltaire is another man’s Screech.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Man

• Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God’s way of letting you know that you’re having too good a time.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in God

  Tags in Time, Good

• Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Life, Money

  Tags in Marriage

• Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don’t find these weapons of mass destruction. It’s enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Truth

  Tags in Destruction

Dennis Miller (34)

Birth:	3rd November, 1953
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Comedian, Commentator, Political Consultant, Radio Personality, Talk Show Host, Television Presenter

About

Dennis Miller is an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, radio personality, and outspoken conservative. He is known for his critical assessments laced with pop culture references.

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Today's Anniversary - 30th January

Births

• 1931 - Shirley Hazzard
• 1912 - Barbara W. Tuchman
• 1984 - Kid Cudi
• 1924 - Lloyd Alexander
• 1980 - Wilmer Valderrama

Deaths

• 1948 - Orville Wright
• 1926 - W. L. George
• 2006 - Wendy Wasserstein
• 2007 - Sidney Sheldon