David Sedaris Quotes

• People ask if I miss it, but they don’t understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there’s nothing to miss. I don’t see myself moving back. It’s not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country.

  David Sedaris

• No one writes dialect better than Flannery O’Connor. No one should even try.

  David Sedaris

• My sister Tiffany told me years ago, ‘You can never write about me.’ Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn’t like her.

  David Sedaris

• My family isn’t really all that different from anyone else’s. Well, maybe they’re a bit more entertaining.

  David Sedaris

• It’s odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You’ll have a nice time, then two years later you’ll be like, ‘There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?’

  David Sedaris

• If you read somebody’s diary, you get what you deserve.

  David Sedaris

• If I’m riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven’t had a new mental adventure since high school. So that’s what I like about books on tape, so my mind can’t wander anywhere.

  David Sedaris

• I’ve never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don’t know why.

  David Sedaris

• I’ve been keeping diaries for 27 years.

  David Sedaris

• I’ve been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it’s just whining, but every so often there’ll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It’s an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. ‘That’s not what you said on February 3, 1996,’ I’ll say to someone.

  David Sedaris

• I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

  David Sedaris

• I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

  David Sedaris

• I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

  David Sedaris

• I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

  David Sedaris

• I love things made out of animals. It’s just so funny to think of someone saying, ‘I need a letter opener. I guess I’ll have to kill a deer.

  David Sedaris

• I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it’s never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who’s giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?

  David Sedaris

• I love ‘Glee.’ I cry all the time when I watch ‘Glee’ because I don’t know if it’s satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry.

  David Sedaris

• I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.

  David Sedaris

• I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything.

  David Sedaris

• I just think that the people who say: ‘That’s not true’ when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn’t get any laughs when they told their story.

  David Sedaris

David Sedaris (66)

Birth:	26th December, 1956
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Author, Comedian, Humorist

About

David Raymond Sedaris is an American humorist, comedian, author and radio contributor nominated for a Grammy Award.
Sedaris has been described as 'the rock star of writers'. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries".

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