David Sedaris Quotes

• I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

• Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I’d do it more if I could get away with it.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Exaggerate, Boy

• But most good movies have a gun in them.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Movies

  Tags in Gun

• But I’m a humorist. I’m not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Reporter, Pretended

• Because I’ve always been a fairly nervous person.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Nervous

• As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Foreigner, London

• Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Truth

  Tags in Iron, One Day

• Actually I liked that ‘Let the Right One In,’ that Swedish vampire movie.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Movies

  Tags in Vampire, Actually

• What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Despairing, Dark

• But I don’t distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I’ll take either.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Laughed, Distinguish

• I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the ‘Harry Potter’ books.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Versions, British

• Sometimes with ‘The New Yorker,’ they have grammar rules that just don’t feel right in my mouth.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Grammar, Mouth
• 

  Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you’re in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can’t be thought of as cute.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Love

  Tags in People

• I’m the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I’ve never even met.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Humor

• Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

  David Sedaris

  Topics in Humor

• They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.

  David Sedaris

•  There are lots of things that happen to me that I don’t write about.

  David Sedaris

• The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

  David Sedaris

• Sometimes I say to myself, ‘Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award’, although I’m not that bothered.

  David Sedaris

• People ask me, ‘Have you ever considered doing stand-up?’ To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, ‘Have you ever considered dental implants?’

  David Sedaris

David Sedaris (66)

Birth:	26th December, 1956
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Author, Comedian, Humorist

About

David Raymond Sedaris is an American humorist, comedian, author and radio contributor nominated for a Grammy Award.
Sedaris has been described as 'the rock star of writers'. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries".

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Births

• 1867 - Marie Curie
• 1943 - Joni Mitchell
• 1942 - Tom Peters
• 1879 - Leon Trotsky
• 1915 - Philip Morrison

Deaths

• 1992 - Alexander Dubcek
• 1913 - Alfred Russel Wallace
• 1990 - Lawrence Durrell
• 1980 - Steve McQueen
• 1981 - Will Durant