David Letterman Quotes

• Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Nature

  Tags in Tree

• A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I’m thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time, Thinking

• Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen – he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It’s all part of Woody’s plan to grow his own wives.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Congratulations

• Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it?

  David Letterman

  Topics in Health

• Don’t forget it’s daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It’s like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time

• Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That’s bad news – they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Good

• Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Tree

• For the love of God, folks, don’t try this at home.

  David Letterman

  Topics in God, Love

• Here’s a little known fact – Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Governor

• I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Funny

• I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Face

• I know these jokes aren’t great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you’re between impeachments.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Problem

• I’m just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Collective

• Iraq’s elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they’re changing their name to the Democratic Guard.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Republican

• It’s official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that’s what everybody thinks he said.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Governor

• It’s so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early – is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Like, Feel

• Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don’t know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

  David Letterman

  Topics in God

  Tags in Explosive

• New York now leads the world’s great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn’t make a sudden move.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Great

• New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Civilization

• Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

  David Letterman

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Good, Importance

David Letterman (39)

Birth:	12th April, 1947
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Talk Show Host

About

David Michael Letterman was born in Indianapolis, Indiana. He is an American former talk show host. He hosted a late night television talk show for 33 years, beginning with the February 1, 1982, debut of Late Night with David Letterman on NBC, and ending with the May 20, 2015, broadcast of the Late Show with David Letterman on CBS. In total, Letterman hosted 6,028 episodes of Late Night and Late Show, surpassing friend and mentor Johnny Carson as the longest-serving late night talk show host in American television history.

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