Dave Barry Quotes

• In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Stupid, Anything

• In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in School, Tell

• If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Suggesting

• If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Enough, Big

• If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Human, Reason

• If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Made, Wanted

• I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor, Sad

  Tags in Happy, Fact

• I want a pit crew… I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Hate

• I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Care

• I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in War

• I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Children

  Tags in Good, Believe

• Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor, Religion

• Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Person

• Guys are simple… women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women

• Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

• Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

  Dave Barry

• For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

  Dave Barry

• Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

  Dave Barry

• Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

  Dave Barry

• ‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’.

  Dave Barry

Dave Barry (86)

Birth:	3rd July, 1947
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Columnist, Humorist, Novelist, Writer

About

David McAlister "Dave" Barry was born in Armonk, New York. He is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American columnist, novelist, humorist and writer, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for The Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels. He began his journalism career in 1971, working as a general assignment reporter for the Daily Local News in West Chester, Pennsylvania, near his alma mater, Haverford College. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Haverford College in 1969. Barry's first novel, Big Trouble, was published in 1999.

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Today's Anniversary - 15th November

Births

• 1972 - Jonny Lee Miller
• 1976 - Virginie LeDoyen
• 1957 - Kevin Eubanks
• 1939 - Yaphet Kotto
• 1932 - Petula Clark

Deaths

• 1917 - Oswald J. Chambers
• 1950 - Agnes Repplier
• 1998 - Stokely Carmichael
• 1982 - Vinoba Bhave
• 1996 - Alger Hiss