Carl Hiaasen Quotes

• Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Humor

• You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don’t get past the third paragraph you’ve wasted your energy and valuable ink.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Research, Intellectual, Readers

• When you’re given a newspaper column, you’re not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say ‘On the one hand this’ and ‘On the other hand that.’ You’re getting paid for your opinion.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Newspaper, Opinion

• When you put on the suits, when you pretend you’re honest and you’re robbing at a far higher level, these guys deserve to… well, to be in my novels, and I have special fates reserved for them.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Level, Pretend

• When I’m working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Self, Nonfiction, Novel

• When I’m deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that’s been revised and worked over 88 times. I’ll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I’ll know right away whether this is the real deal or not.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Book, Chapter

• We’ve always been fascinated with movie stars and singers, but the fascination with people who really have nothing to offer is something new.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Fascinated

• Unfortunately, I don’t get to read nearly as much as I want because I’m always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Unfortunately, Newspaper

• To me, the newspaper business was a way to learn about life and how things worked in the real world and how people spoke. You learn all the skills – you learn to listen, you learn to take notes – everything you use later as a novelist was valuable training in the newspaper world. But I always wanted to write novels.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Business

  Tags in Newspaper, Learn

• They have a crystalline sense of right and wrong; it disappears when they walk out the door with their M.B.A.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Disappears

• There’s so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that’s the role of the satirist – you have to examine your own country and say, ‘look!’

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Country

  Tags in Examine

• There is no writer’s block in a newsroom. There’s only unemployment block.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Unemployment

• The one word that no politician will ever speak, is ‘enough.’ Enough.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Politician, Word

• The one thing a lifetime in the newspaper business teaches you is pace – you spend all your time trying to make sure that the reader’s going to finish what you’re writing.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Business

  Tags in Newspaper, Writing

• The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writer, Greatest

• The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It’s hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Real, Thing

• The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Broadcast, Trees

• Sure, I’ll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I’m wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn’t write them as well; I wouldn’t do as good a job.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Job

  Tags in Self, Characters

• People say sometimes, gosh, that was brave of you to write such-and-such last week. ‘Brave?’ What do they mean ‘brave?’ It’s right! How could you not write it?

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Brave

• One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Topics in Age

  Tags in Problem, Patience

Carl Hiaasen (47)

Birth:	12th March, 1953
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Journalist, Novelist

About

Carl Hiaasen was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He is an American journalist, columnist, and novelist. He graduated in 1974 with a degree in journalism. He was a reporter for Cocoa Today for two years, beginning in 1974. After becoming an investigative reporter, Hiaasen began to write novels. His first three were co-written by fellow journalist Montalbano: Powder Burn, Trap Line, and A Death in China. His subsequent children's novel were Flush; Scat; and, most recently, Chomp.

Related Authors

• Tina Brown
• Brian Williams
• Margaret Mitchell
• Bill Buford
• James McBride
• Hervé Le Tellier
• Lisa Guerrero
• Allan Sloan
• Michael Lewis
• Fred Barnes

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 21st December

Births

• 1948 - Zev Yaroslavsky
• 1795 - Leopold Von Ranke
• 1948 - Samuel L. Jackson
• 1922 - Paul Winchell
• 1935 - Phil Donahue

Deaths

• 1935 - Kurt Tucholsky
• 2001 - David Swift
• 1889 - Joseph Barber Lightfoot
• 1958 - Lion Feuchtwanger
• 1992 - Stella Adler