Bill Maher Quotes

• They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Funny, Wedding

  Tags in Smoking, People, Marriage

• The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won’t say it.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Hate

• The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Juries, Trials, Law And Lawyers, Could

• The country has become much more conservative, partly because it’s been taken over by the religious right.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Conservative, Taken

• The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don’t know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, ‘I’ve got one question: What color is the red phone?’

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Intelligence

  Tags in Said, Security

• Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Belief, Religion

  Tags in Bureaucracy

• President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn’t a Nazi, he wouldn’t have any credibility with conservatives at all.

  Bill Maher

  Tags in Karl, Rove

• Men are only as loyal as their options.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Opinions, Mankind, Loyal, Men And Women, Men

• Maybe every other American movie shouldn’t be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Movies

  Tags in Based, Solved, Land, American

• Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.

  Bill Maher

  Tags in Gay

• Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Worship, Ego, Problem

• Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Kids, Easy

• It’s all been satirized for your protection.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Protection, Been

• Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, ‘Please, I used to pull the same trick. There’d be an intervention, I’d make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.’

  Bill Maher

  Tags in Trick, President, Pouring, Liquor

• I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Religion, Uncategorized

  Tags in Disorder, Initiative, Great, Flying

• I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Punishment, Kills, Again

• I never thought I’d say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Personality, Bush

• I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Worried, Stars, Day

• I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

  Bill Maher

  Topics in Country

  Tags in Flaws, Critique, Patriotic, Better

• Hi, I’m Bill. I’m a birth survivor.

  Bill Maher

  Tags in Hi, Survivor

Bill Maher (50)

Birth:	20th January, 1956
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Author, Comedian, Commentator, Producer, Screenwriter, Television Presenter

About

Bill Maher  is an American stand-up comedian, television host, political commentator, satirist, author, and actor. Before his current role as the host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, Maher hosted a similar late-night talk show called Politically Incorrect, originally on Comedy Central and later on ABC.

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Births

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• 1941 - Pete Best
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• 1943 - Tarja Halonen
• 1949 - Randy Neugebauer

Deaths

• 1999 - Bill Bowerman
• 1959 - William Cameron Forbes
• 1870 - Albert Barnes
• 1993 - Norman Vincent Peale
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