Bauvard Quotes

• Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Women

• The masses read with their stomachs.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Reading

• If the best of friends are those who reflect you, nothing helps your popularity like being secluded in a house of mirrors.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Friendship

• An anniversary is the perfect time to celebrate all the missed opportunities to correct a mistake, and even take vows to renew it.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Love

• When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Art

• Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Science

• Sometimes I wonder what happened to great speeches, but then I turn on the TV and I’m in wonder at how good my candidate looks.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Speeches

• Art always makes life seem so artificial.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Art

• The argument from design is hopelessly flawed. Building cathedrals from the top down would provide much better evidence.

  Bauvard

  Topics in God

• A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Love

• I prefer a huge tome to a sharp epigram: only blunt words can hurt dull people.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Books

• I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Books

• When cultivating your garden, you must keep the soil healthy with encroachers.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Happiness

• Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they’ll wake up with a smile on their face.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Happiness

• Logician: a mathematician who can’t count posing as a philosopher who can’t moralize.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Philosophy

• When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I’m a librarian, damn it! We only take book donations.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Politics

  Tags in Books

• Practical people have the potential to be very useful. Their shoulders make good boot grooves – but light feet only wear slippers.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Funny

• With sin comes fatigue. With repentance comes temptation. With beatification comes ugliness.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Funny

• My fortune-teller read my palm and said I would die young and unmarried, but that was before my hand got scarred. So as soon as that knife-wielding maniac gets out of jail, I’ll propose to her again.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Funny

• When someone is about to have a rock climbing accident, the hero is he who doesn’t trim his nostril hairs. And if he can lasso a wild bull at the same time, he’ll be a great cowboy, too.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Funny

Bauvard (73)

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Today's Anniversary - 25th April

Births

• 1946 - Vladimir Zhirinovsky
• 1599 - Oliver Cromwell
• 1930 - Paul Mazursky
• 1951 - Evan Welling Thomas III
• 1906 - William Joseph Brennan Jr.

Deaths

• 2004 - Thom Gunn
• 1595 - Torquato Tasso
• 1840 - Simeon Poisson
• 1990 - Dexter Gordon
• 1800 - William Cowper