Artie Lange Quotes

• Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

  Artie Lange

• When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

  Artie Lange

• When I black out, it’s the happiest time of my life.

  Artie Lange

• Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

  Artie Lange

• The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.

  Artie Lange

• The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don’t drink in moderation.

  Artie Lange

• Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.

  Artie Lange

•  I’m not going to lie to you fellas, I’ve been drinking.

   

  Artie Lange

• It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn’t the greatest looking guy in the world.

  Artie Lange

• I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics’ darlings, you might say.

  Artie Lange

• I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust.

  Artie Lange

• I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

  Artie Lange

• Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

  Artie Lange

• Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

  Artie Lange

• By the time I am Howard’s age I hope to be long retired. I don’t plan on working that long.

  Artie Lange

• Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

  Artie Lange

• And now it looks like I’m probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

  Artie Lange

• A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

  Artie Lange

Artie Lange (18)

Birth:	11th October, 1967
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Author, Comedian, Radio Personality

About

Artie Lange was born in Livingston, New Jersey. He  is an American actor, comedian, radio personality, and author best known for his tenures with the The Howard Stern Show and the comedy sketch series MADtv. He was also the host of a sports and entertainment radio show called The Artie Lange Show. Lange performed his first stand-up comedy routine at 19 years of age. In 2011, Lange returned to radio with Nick DiPaolo to co-host The Nick & Artie Show. In January 2013, it was renamed The Artie Lange Show after DiPaolo's departure. Lange has released two recordings of comedy performances–It's the Whiskey Talkin' and Jack and Coke. He co-wrote, produced, and starred in his feature film Artie Lange's Beer League and co-wrote his memoirs Too Fat to Fish and Crash and Burn.

Related Authors

• Larry Mullen Jr.
• Lowell Thomas
• Thomas Mark Harmon
• Dweezil Zappa
• Peter Bogdanovich
• Frank Cady
• Takeshi Kitano
• Jason Schwartzman
• Robert Sylvester Kelly
• Ringo Starr

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 5th January

Births

• 1931 - Robert Duvall
• 1862 - S H Miller
• 1979 - Zebulon Pike
• 1945 - Roger Spottiswoode
• 1923 - Samuel Cornelius Phillips

Deaths

• 1988 - Pete Maravich
• 1970 - Max Born
• 1998 - Sonny Bono
• 2003 - Roy Jenkins
• 2010 - Kenneth Noland